Only an Idiot... * UK - Would take the bus !!!
London,UK -Telegraph.co.uk, by Bryony Gordon -22 Jan 2008: -- Well thank goodness for that. Stagecoach have created an idiot's guide to taking the bus, because only an idiot would actually take the bus. No, that's not why. It's actually to encourage more people to use public transport... Step on board, take a seat, beware the smelly people: "Using the bus could not be easier," begins the guide, which then goes on to explain that you should signal for the driver to stop, step on board, take a seat, then press the bell when you want to get off. You may laugh at this ridiculous waste of money, but as someone who spends at least an hour on buses every day, I would like to add a few tips. Enjoy.1. There are more mad/drunk/smelly people on buses than on any other form of public transport. I think this is because they are simple souls who appreciate being able to look out of the windows at the sky. For example, the other day, on the 148, I found myself sitting next to an old man who was having a conversation with his dictaphone, which he had christened John. Don't be disturbed; just smile sweetly and stare in the other direction. Remember, they probably think you are mad too. And maybe you are.
2. You will also find more anti-social teenagers on buses than on any other form of public transport. My advice is to move to the front of the vehicle, next to the driver, and not to ask the youths to turn down that racket that is emanating from their mobile phone thingymebob.
3. Nobody ever cleans buses, so always carry a plastic bag with you to sit on, and watch where you put your feet.
4. Your bus driver probably can't drive very well, though he no doubt thinks that he is Lewis Hamilton. So hold on to the seat in front of you (checking first for chewing gum).
5. Nor will he be able to speak fluent English (even if he was born here) so don't bother asking which stop you should get off at, because he won't have a clue.
6. Be prepared for the vehicle to stay at a stop for half an hour. This is normal. The driver is just ensuring 'gaps' between buses, so that 16 don't come at once.
7. Don’t be surprised when the driver announces 'all change here' four miles before the bus's destination. Another one will be along in a moment, honest!
8. Take your car.
Any more you'd like to add? ... And about those who can not travel by other means? That's not a joke !!!
* How to get on a bus: idiot's guide published
London,UK -Telegraph.co.uk, by Sophie Borland -22 Jan 2008: -- An idiot’s guide explaining how to get on and off a bus has been produced for people who have a phobia of public transport... According to Stagecoach, which has created the step-by-step manual, a large proportion of Britain’s population are now so used to travelling by car that they have become scared of buses... In order to encourage use of public transport, the firm has come up with the “Using the Bus” guide which sets out the most basic information possible... The guide begins reassuringly with: “Using the bus could not be easier”... It goes on to warn that passengers should “first of all decide on what bus you need” and once the right bus has been spotted, with the “number and destination on the front”, one should then “signal for the driver to stop”... The guide continues: “Wait until the bus is stopped and the doors are fully opened and step on board”... The guide even goes as far as setting out procedures for disembarking and says: “When you want to get off, press the bell once. For your safety we recommend you remain seated until the bus has arrived at the stop”... A spokesman for Stagecoach, which runs 7,000 buses and coaches from Devon in the south west to Inverness in the Scottish Highlands, said that research had shown many members of the public do not know how to use public transport... A Stagecoach campaign encouraging more use of public transport has now contacted 610,000 people across the country, giving out versions of the guide and offering free travel passes... Labels: trips on buses debate
posted by Unknown @ 6:46 PM
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